I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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