if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
