Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
