How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
