ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
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