she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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