hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Even my vagina gasped.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
