I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
