I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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