TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
