I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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