We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
