the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
