She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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