a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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