oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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