I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
