Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
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