hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
did you just send me my own nude
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
