woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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