i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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