Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
