Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We left an ass print on the piano.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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