if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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