Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
