Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
