that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
they need to just BURY HIM!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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