I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
