So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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