It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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