anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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