you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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