No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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