Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
