I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
