you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
