guys are only as good as the porn they watch
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
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