Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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