I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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