Duck Duck Cougar?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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