we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
