that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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