and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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