oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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