oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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