I've blown a few things in my day
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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