once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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