then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
