another moral hangover. fuck.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
