Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
